I suppose change is hard for 5 year olds. Even happy-go-lucky, calm, laid-back kiddos like my son. There is only so much a little boy can take, right?
Like when your baby sister morphs from a cuddly sweet infant who stays where Mama puts her, into a running, screaming, tantrum-throwing toddler… who takes your toys. And also takes more of your Mama’s attention since she’s still a “baby” and can’t do a lot of things by herself. The transition from a quiet little preschool where everyone is automatically your friend, to a sprawling, crowded, big-kid school where you don’t know anyone is quite an adjustment too. Plus, you have to actually carry your own backpack and walk to your class all by yourself! (Truth be told, Mama has more trouble letting go here than the boy does.) ;) You have to share your room sometimes – even if it’s with your little sister. Blech. She takes your toys, remember? Mama and Daddy now expect big-boy behavior from you, and sometimes being a big boy isn’t so fun after all. New chores are added to your allowance chart, including a few tasks that you don’t particularly like or want to do. And you are faced with the fact that Mama and Daddy have to work at real jobs instead of just playing with you all afternoon, even though they do in fact work from home at those real jobs… why, that is such a hard pill to swallow when you’re five. (And it breaks Mama’s and Daddy’s hearts too.)
Over Christmas break, I made a conscious effort to not work (thankfully, late winter is the slowest time period in my photography business). My family needed me. My son needed me. The reason I became a photographer was this child you see here. He was, continues to be, and always will remain my muse. My original inspiration. One of the many reasons I get up every morning. And at those very moments, those moments that mattered so desperately to him, my little boy needed his mama. And was trying every way in the world to tell me so. Whining, being defiant, disobeying, treating his sister unkindly (as well as the rest of us), and just not being his normal, funny, sweet self. I felt like such a failure as his mother to see him change and become so different, so unlike himself, no matter what I did or said to him. All this ruckus to get our attention? How could we have let this happen?? Right under our noses, too.
So, I listened to what he would have said, had he just been able to come up with the right words. He needed to be the baby again for awhile. He wanted my full attention. And just like that, we became a little team again, my Parker and I. We strung Christmas lights together on the trees out front. (I climbed the ladder while he climbed the trees!) We baked cookies for Santa, and for our neighbors. We read books together, we stayed up past bedtime playing board games. We picked oranges from our backyard tree, and we made fresh juice. We wrote and mailed letters to Santa, and we made hot cocoa with marshmallows. We played I Spy and his favorite Wii games. We made ornaments for our tree. We made special presents for our family. We went on an internet search for his favorite cartoons and played a few favorite games that he chose. I snuggled him in our bed as we watched Christmas movies together, sharing giggles and bowls of popcorn with M&Ms. I basically carved out special time for “just him” each day, even if it was after Lila was in bed. He was willing to wait, and in turn, I made a big production of it all. It has made such a difference.
I think my sweet Parker is back. My little muse even asked me to take his photograph tonight. Thank you, my beautiful boy, for your precious gift.
I’d love to hear from other moms who work from home and juggle it all. How have you made it work as your children grow? How do you carve out time each day for them? Please do share the tips and techniques that work for your family ~ I’d love to hear them!
Co-editor, Stacey Woods is an on-location, natural light lifestyle photographer for the Tampa Bay, FL area. Her favorite subjects are expecting mamas, the tiniest of babies, and children of all ages. Her online photo journal can be found at Stacey Woods Photography. Stacey’s own husband and children (a 6-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter) are her greatest source of inspiration… and laughter!
