Over Thanksgiving dinner a conversation started about Twitter. The main gist of which wasn’t favorable. It started out harmless enough (I kept out of it considering I’m a Twitter fan) but got pretty intensely negative, albeit in a half joking tone. Ten minutes into it my 12-year-old daughter leaned over to me and asked under her breath, Are they making fun of you Mom? They weren’t but I couldn’t help but feel totally misunderstood.

That same week my husband, while flipping the channels, landed on a Dr. Phil episode where Dr. Phil insisted that internet relationships weren’t real relationships. I understood for the most part the point of the show and that he wasn’t talking to me, or about me or about my online relationships specifically but I still chose not to watch it.

I spend a lot of time online. Probably too much time, I’ll admit. But, that aside, I will stand firm in defending the kinds of connections and relationships that I have made on the web over the last few years. Blogging has been the catalyst that created and continues to create a circle of people that I deeply care about in my life. I have dear, cherished friends that I would have never even met if it weren’t for the internet. And I know that many of you reading can say the same. These are friends that I look forward to reaching out to everyday (via Twitter or Facbook) and friends that I cannot wait to see at BlogHer (or Mom 2.0 or the Alt Summit) and friends that I now talk to on the phone and plan gatherings with because I value their friendship THAT much.

It’s real; this thing we do online everyday. And it cultivates the kinds of real relationships that have made my life that much more rich and complete.

As for the people that don’t understand it, don’t believe it, or won’t support it, well, that’s just their loss. As for me? I’ll just keep enjoying and celebrating it…this authentic and real thing we’ve got going on here. Care to join me?

That’s right, I said I’d be talking about this and talk about it I shall! As much as my weekly routine is a big deal to me, I’d venture to say pre-planning my day is a smidge more important. When I wake in the mornings I immediately find my daily task sheet and browse it over. If we have morning plans (such as mops or church days) I know what to get started on first. But those aren’t daily. Most of our mornings are spent here, and if i’m not on top of things and prioritizing…

life gets messy.

I really wanted something that would work best for our family, something I would want to use. Quite a few hours later I came up with my very own, personalized, daily task sheet. I listed out the things during the day that I needed to keep track of and put it in a document format.

Let’s break it down

Daily tasks

This is where my weekly routine sheet comes in handy. The night before as I’m filling out my daily tasks sheet for the following day, I’ll browse through to see what is on my list for the next day. There are never more than five daily tasks as to not overwhelm myself. These items I take care of as soon as possible (after the kids are fed, dog is walked, I’ve had my own quiet time, etc). Getting to these strait away is truly imperative to my feeling relaxed the rest of the day.

Taking care of me

After a successful journey through weight watchers, my dear wee one was born and well, here I am again :) Getting my waters in, being active, and keeping track of my points is a huge part of my day. This keeps me on track, and might be my fave part of this entire thing!

The middle blank spots

These two middle lists are really just my other to-dos. I like to specify certain things I’d like to accomplish in their own categories (The Creative Mama & my photography business) so that I can easily see what needs to get done. I typically work on this bottom section in the afternoons when the boys are down for naps.

The to do list

This little corner is usually taken up by phone calls that need to be made or emails to be written (not in relation to either this blog or my photography business). It can be so easy to let your to do list pile up. I try to only put down things that are really the most urgent.

Notes

Pretty self explanatory. I just like having a little section that I can jot down a cute thing one of the boys did, or a reminder for tomorrow’s daily task sheet.

Dinner / Start prep

Way down here at the bottom sits the thorn in my side. I’m not a fabulous cook, it really isn’t my ultimate favorite thing to do during the day. If i don’t menu plan, and have our dinners written out – well, we wouldn’t eat ;) Again, it’s all about looking ahead.

I think the most exciting part of this, was my discovery that I don’t have to print each day – wasting not only paper but ink as well. I simply slide my daily task sheet into a plastic sheet protector and use a dry erase marker. not really that genius, but it works! I clear it off at the end of each day and start fresh.

A few downloads for you!

I’ve included two downloads for you – one with the weight watchers points and one without. Click to download and enjoy!

How do you get through the daily grind?

Summer is upon us. Peeking just around the corner, we’ve seen more rain than sunshine here in Northern California – but I’m putting on my positive hat and anticipating what is just ahead… Recently a favorite blog prompted a new idea for me. Kelle shares about her ‘summer to-dos’ and I realized that of any summer to start, this is the one.

You see, for the most of the last year I’ve been in denial that my oldest would head to Kindergarten this fall. It isn’t possible. He’s just my baby. I’m not ready to let go. Alas, soon he will leave my side and enter into an entirely new world. This is our last summer with a preschooler. Our last summer before he begins a new chapter. Our last summer with a five and two year old. Our. Last. Summer.

I know I’m a smidge dramatic, but this sappy mama will be a mess of tears come that fall day. So as we head into the heat, I want to be prepared with an arsenal of must-do’s for Summer 2010. There are memories to be made and fun to be had!

The Warren’s Summer List

• Have at least a handful of camp-outs in the living room
• Finally take a family camping trip
• Swim our hearts out
• Collect rocks
• Wear lots of dresses
• Hit up Farmer’s Market for fruit
• Lay under the stars with my grandma, like we did when I was little
• Go to the beach
• Eat popsicles out back
• BBQ with friends
• Surround the house with fresh-cut flowers
• Take a spontaneous trip
• Love on my boys & soak them in
• And of course, take a million photos

I’ll be printing this and keeping it up on our fridge. I’d encourage you to make one of your own and do the same! What sorts of things would be on your Summer List?

Now, don’t think for a moment that I don’t cherish those sweet changes that children can bring to your routine.  Or realize the importance of schedule alterations brought on by that new job.  Obviously, life happens!  Things change!  Your blessings take root, your priorities shift, and your little indulgences transform and evolve.  You become responsible for someone other than yourself, and suddenly you have to make a few sacrifices to the blissful life you once loved.  Oh, no problem!  You simply take care of yourself in different ways than you used to, right? . . . Right??

If we’re honest with ourselves, do we really and truly take special care of ourselves anymore?

Do we let our body- and soul-nourishment dwindle in favor of our to-do lists?  In favor of meeting the needs of everyone surrounding us, except for us? Do we spend so much of our energy taking care of our families, our work, our homes, churches and communities, that we forget about treating ourselves once in a while?  I know this is a common complaint among women in many different stages of life.  So take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone (and neither am I)!

Truthfully, some days the only moments I have to myself are the five blissful minutes in the shower.  Other times, I do have time to read a few of my favorite blogs or thoroughly relish my morning cup of coffee.  And some weekends, I might be able to leave the kids with my husband long enough to pamper myself a teensy bit.  I long to create time to write in my journal again, to sketch and draw and document, spill out my ideas on paper.  Honestly, as fully-immersed in photography as I am, I truly enjoy the sporadic hour or two when I can take my camera out for a walk or a drive, and just shoot to my heart’s content.  No pressure, no rules, no company along.  Just me, creating images for myself.  (Ahem, as for the polaroid of the rose bushes here: I actually stole a few moments while running errands to ponder the beauty in the lawn and garden section!)

I think it’s important that we take the time, to really take the time, just for us.

To start things off, here are a few ways that I plan on taking care of myself in the days and months ahead.  I’d love for you to join me!

• by taking this course and truly digging deeper within
• by hitting the gym again, or at least the pavement!
• by making more healthful food choices (not just for the kids, but for me as well)
• by drinking more water, less tea (this is a big one, I might need a sweet tea intervention over here!)
• picking up one of these to combine my love of photographs and writing into one easy-to-keep-up-with place (inspired by Kathy Wolfe’s POTD project)
• by instituting “date night” again – even if it’s just a quick dinner or an hour or two of grown-up time, every week or two at least.

How has your “Taking Care of You” evolved during different times in your life?  Are you finding it tough to carve out that personal time, or do you actually have tips for those of us who struggle with it?  We’d love to hear your thoughts, ideas and advice so we all can grow, together.

-shooting landscape shots, Baja, Mexico.

My oldest daughter is mere months away from being an official teenager. I have had the pleasure of watching her passions reveal themselves as she has become more and more her own person with each passing day. From cooking to fashion design to video—the list goes on and on—she has immersed herself in a number of creative outlets trying them each on for size as she “grows up”.

I won’t deny it makes me giddy she’s experimenting with so many creative ways to stretch and spread her wings, try new things, play, and pretend. As I hear her tell stories about her future as a film maker, screen play writer, chef, or even a bridal gown designer, I delight in her visions of following her bliss and living a creative, fulfilling life.

That’s my girl.

As mothers, we never know when—or if—our children will ever appreciate the things that are important to us. Have I always wanted my daughter to establish herself in a creative career? Not necessarily. But I have always tried to show, by example, how to tie in a little creativity every day and how much sweeter life can be because of it.

No matter where my daughter’s career takes her (we’ve got plenty of time until then) I will continue to encourage her collage making, bridal gown sketches, cooking and capturing life through her lens; whether it be video, cell phone, point and shoot or even my own DSLR. I certainly can’t take all the credit for my daughter’s love for being creative but I can sure keep showing her how it can be done, how the world is her oyster and how a creativity—whatever that might mean to her in the bigger picture—is not only possible, it can be a way of life.

As women, as mothers, as photographers it’s just the card we’ve been dealt. We are often the ones behind the camera. We’re the ones that see the tiny moments every 5 seconds unfolding that deserve capturing. We’re the ones that want to document the days of our children that we know will be gone tomorrow. And, most likely we’re the ones that know how to use the camera.

Yet, there will be a time when we will sit down and will pour over old photos. We’ll laugh at the captured temper-tantrum, cry over the momentous events and sigh over the freshly bloomed flowers we caught one late, Spring afternoon. Will we – in the piles of memories – find ourselves? Will our kids know what their days and moments looked like with us? At future weddings and even funerals will slideshows include photos of us (not just photos we’ve taken)? At our 50th wedding anniversary will we be able to laugh at all the fun looks we went through as a married couple?

It boils down to this: BEING IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS BEING BEHIND IT.

Your children will thank you. Your friends and family will thank you. You will thank you.

So, what are some ways you can work at making sure this happens?

1. ONCE A WEEK

Make it a goal to get into at least 1 photo a week. This can happen by handing someone else the camera, setting it on a timer or investing in a wireless remote.

2. DON’T BE OBSESSED WITH PERFECTION

This is two-fold. 1. Who cares what you look like in the photos? Don’t you want to be remembered for who you were even fresh out of bed, not just dolled up? Absolutely! Make-up or no make-up, you are perfect just the way you are. 2. The photo taken of you does not have to be contest-worthy. Don’t feel as if it needs to be taken with your DSLR (if you even own one). Use your camera phone or your point and shoot. Don’t worry about editing it pretty and posting it to your family blog. Just smile and archive it.

3. TAKE PHOTOS FOR NO GOOD REASON

It’s 6 p.m., you’re eating dinner with the family – it’s the same thing you do every night. But wait. It won’t be the same thing you do every night forever. Take a photo. There’s nothing big happening, but at the same time there is. It’s family dinner. On a Tuesday night. 2010. Everyone’s happy and Jimmy has funny bangs because he cut his own hair. Your flowers are in bloom. The sun is setting low. It’s an average day today. It will not be an average picture tomorrow. Promise.

4. TEACH SOMEONE HOW TO USE YOUR CAMERA

And, then go out for no good reason and get a few good photos of you and your kids. Or you and your girlfriends. Have your husband or friend take a picture of you riding your bike, sewing, sleeping. Whatever it is! Just capture it. I promise these are the types of photos you will love most later on.

5. INVEST IN PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS

Last Fall I realized that I have very few photos of me. Honestly, it made me really sad. I don’t feel for one second that I’m in my prime, but I am. I’m young and happy and I have my hair and teeth. And, something else really important. I have a really creazy-wonderful relationship with the man of my dreams. It’s just him and me and our crazy dog. One day (soon we hope) we’re going to wake up to a house full of kids and will not be able to remember what these days we’re living were like.

Once I made this realization I quickly scheduled a photo shoot with a professional photographer here in town. I made sure to find someone whom I adored artistically (he shoots only medium-format film) and who I knew would give us final photographs we would love to frame within our home.

Since I’m a professional photographer myself we were able to barter services and I was given the rights to the images. But, had we not made that agreement I would have paid *good* money for the images. I don’t just see pictures. I see 7-years of incredible memories and love and life and laughter, tears and travels and a team. We are a team. These pictures remind me of that every single day.

Since then I made a book of our favorite 12 images and on the other 8 pages put notes of things that describe our lives today. Inside jokes and random bits, movies we love, countries we’ve traveled to. Feelings on infertility and our desires to build a family. I know this book has now become a family heirloom. And, it has spurred me on to do it again this Fall.

Every year I want to pay for quality photographs so that I can continue to create “memory” books. With me in them.

Creative Mamas, I invite you to see yourself for who you are. You are a child, daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother. You deserve to be preserved. Take those steps to be remembered for centuries to come. Your family will be grateful.

I‘m sure many of you have heard about The Creative Photographer – our 2 week long series on… photography. Something else in the works for the fall is a series on none other than… blogging.

Tell me, tell me.
Since this series on blogging is for you, we’d love to hear from you, who you’d like featured. What topics interest you most? Please do share in the comments section, your opinions matter and will help us to shape this into a fantastic event.

So do share, can’t wait to read your thoughts!

Good morning lovelies! To those of you who have been with us for some time… thank you. To those who are new around these parts, we welcome you! The Creative Mama was born out of the desire to share every day living with a touch of creativity. You may read a bit more about how we began by clicking here. It has been a wild ride, so many wonderful relationships and community have been built within the walls of this space and I’m thrilled that you choose to click over to us.

The Creative Photographer

We have such wonderful things in store in the coming months, one of which being our 2nd annual Photography Series! I’ll be honest that I’m about over the moon with the amazing artists who have graciously agreed to partake, and the prizes in store for both mamas with cameras and the professional alike. Just to give you a bit of a taste of what is to come… do the following names give you as many goosebumps as me?

• Deb Schwedhelm,
• Jose Villa
• Joyce Smith
• Sarah Lane
• Brenda Acuncius
• Leigh Taylor
• the girls of Luxecetera…
  
• and many. many. more.
  

July 5 begins this wonderful venture, we can’t wait to see you then!

Our Newest Team Members

Exciting news! It seems that as we have grown, so has our need to have more voices and hearts added to our already fantastic team. It is with great pleasure that I introduce to you our two newest members, as well as a recap of the team that works so hard to make TCM what it is:

Both of these incredible women have oodles of creativity to share from mommy-hood to homeschooling, and kitchen goodies to photography. I’m so thrilled to add them to our group, please welcome them with open arms!

To be truthful, I had anticipated sharing a story of self-kindness today. Something gentle and encouraging about how valuable each of us is and how important it is for us to not only recognize it but also embody it. The message is a good one, for sure. I feel so strongly about it, in fact, that upon one of my own personal breakthroughs of self-worthiness, I launched the I Am Enough Collaborative. Not only to share my own story of self-kindness but to also celebrate stories from other women. What’s going on over there is really illuminating and powerful!

So then why today do I feel like my self-love light is barely a flicker?

It all started a few weeks ago when a glorious Spring Break vacation threw off my “normal routine” which in turn got me really behind on work, which then resulted in scurrying around in catch up mode which has left me stressed out, exhausted and feeling like I have fallen off the self-kindness wagon. Never good.

I’m learning that it’s much easier to believe in yourself and hold strong to your self-worth when you’re in a good place. It’s much easier to help people get there themselves when you feel like you’ve already arrived. On days like this however, it feels easiest to just pull the covers up over your head until you feel better. Because life presses on and opportunities to stay in bed all day to avoid the bad days are few and far between I’ve been thinking about the things I’ve learned to do on bad days; ways to get through the uncomfortable feeling of feeling blue.

Alas! My 7 strategies to use when times are tough:

1. Be particularly kind yourself. We self-talk in our heads all day long (whether we know it or not). Choose a gentle, forgiving inner-dialogue, not a hurtful one.
2. Soothe your weary soul with gestures of comfort. Even when you’re run ragged with things to do and not enough time to do them, take a few minutes to brew some tea, listen to calming music, cut flowers from the yard and put them on your desk or coffee table, light a candle. These are the things that don’t have to take time away from the work you need to do (chores, mothering, your job, etc). Instead, they can make the work a little more bearable.
3. Wear something impossibly comfy or impossibly cute. If you have something, anything in your closet that fits both criteria, then you have the perfect wardrobe for a funk. The key is not to wear something that makes you feel worse. And a little make-up isn’t a bad idea either.
4. Let an act of creativity change your perspective for you. I have found that taking photos can be like therapy for me. It can change the way I’m looking at things and in turn help my mood tremendously.
5. Arm yourself with symbolic reminders of kindness. I’m not a big accessory girl but the jewelry I have collected over the years usually hold some kind of memory or meaning. I don’t choose what to wear on color or style as much as by message. I wear my Shutter Sisters necklace when I want to feel the presence of community around me. I wear my superhero necklace when I want to access my power. And now, I wear my I am Enough Necklace when I need that reminder. Wearing your own symbols of support can work wonders in getting you though a rough patch.
6. Allow things to fall through the cracks.  Although most of us work hard to ‘do it all’ there are some days when it just won’t get done. It might be the hardest thing to do but when you allow things to fall through the cracks (miss a deadline, break a date, get take-out for dinner) it can be liberating. If you can’t meet what is expected of you or what you expect from yourself don’t beat yourself up. Instead remember that we’re all human.
7. Seek support (even if that support is just you supporting you). Sometimes merely giving yourself permission to feel icky will lighten your load. You don’t have to fight feeling bad. Or, find a friend who really cares for you and ask for some sympathy. Admitting you’re feeling blue can work wonders (and I have found can help shake the blues that much quicker).

My guess is that you have some of your own strategies for one of those days? Please add to the list! I’d love to have more ideas for my bad day arsenal. If nothing else we might be more likely to have a good, bad day. Which would only be half bad (if you do the math) and that’s a good thing.

The exact time of their baby’s birth. The date they first noticed the hints of a tooth popping through tiny swollen gums. The embarrassing phrase their toddler repeated to the clerk at the grocery store. Where each and every Christmas, birthday and other special occasion was spent and how it was celebrated. The name of their child’s first teacher. The proud moment when that child first learned to read. The issue that caused them to lay awake at night with worry about their child’s future. Their response to those tough questions their preteen started bringing up at the dinner table. The name of that same child’s first crush. The conflict they felt as they watched their graduate accept that hard-earned diploma. The hope and the joy and the sadness and the fear and the pride they felt as they watched that child head off for college.

Some moms remember everything. I’m not one of those moms.

With four kids ranging from toddler to teen, an on-the-go hubby, an ever-growing collection of household pets, a home-based business, and a nearly 100-year-old house in need of constant upkeep, I’m lucky if I remember what we had for dinner last night, let alone all of those special memories from the past 15 years of child-rearing.

And so I take a ton of photos and I save a lot of stuff … and I scrapbook. But like nearly every busy scrapbooking mom I know, I find it tough to balance the time it takes to document memories with the time needed to actually make them. My stack of photos and boxes of memorabilia FAR outweigh the number of actual scrapbook pages I have completed.

The result? Mommy guilt. You know the feeling … that awful, nagging little tug in the back of your brain that says you “should” have done something that you didn’t. That says you’re not good enough. That says you are somehow dooming your child to a life void of memories. That says you are not measuring up.

It’s taken me almost 15 years, but I think I’m finally to the point where I can tell that little voice to be quiet … and mean it. Does that mean I’ve caught up on all my scrapbooking? Unfortunately, no. What it does mean is that I’ve finally decided not to feel guilty anymore and instead, focus on more constructive ways to approach my goals. For me, that includes the following four steps…

1. Lowering my own expectations of myself. Like the father who can never find a boy good enough for his daughter, I tend to set the bar unrealistically high. By acknowledging that, I am able to let my efforts be “good enough.” Maybe not always, but often enough to make a difference in how I feel.

2. Recognizing what I’ve accomplished. Someone posted a comment on my blog the other day to the effect of “something is better than nothing.” When it comes to scrapbooking, I now make more of an effort to remind myself that though I may not have scrapbooked every single memory, I have actually done quite a bit and my family appreciates what I’ve done.

3. Starting with today. I read an excellent post the other day about letting go of the guilt and being present in the current moment without worrying so much about being “caught up.” To help me focus on that, I make documenting and experiencing today’s memories my first priority. To do anything else is simply overwhelming.

4. Getting organized. I’m a big believer in time management, yet I’m as guilty as the rest of running in circles without stopping often enough to notice where I’m at and work on changing course. So I’ve spent a lot of the past year really trying to think through my system and develop more efficient ways of dealing with photos, memorabilia and everything else that comes with scrapbooking and memory documentation. I’m not there yet … but I’m working on it. One of the results of this effort has been the development of the Memory Logbook series.

I’d love to help a few new mommies get their baby memory-keeping started on the right foot, so I’ve provided a couple ways to help make that happen.

First, you are invited to enter the Log Your Memory Mommy Contest by nominating a special mommy in your life. Second, I’m going to give one lucky follower of The Creative Mama a print coil-bound copy of Baby’s First Year Memory Logbook through today’s giveaway contest. Read on to find out how to enter…

How to Enter:

Answer one of the following questions in the comment section:

Do you have mommy guilt? Have you found effective ways of banishing it from your daily life? If so, I’d love to hear about them.

*Giveaway will close this Friday April 23*

Kristin Rutten is a work-at-home mother of four with an avid interest in telling her story & that of her family through scrapbooking. Log Your Memory was created in the fall of 2009 and Kristin is active in the online scrapbooking community, with her own family’s layouts posted in various galleries around the Web under the username “krutten.” She and husband Jacques Rutten, current publisher of the News-Argus, live in Lewistown, Montana, with their four children – Karstin (14), Kody (12), Skylar (3), and Danica (1).