For the past few months I felt a little disconnected from my twelve year old. He’s my first born and we’ve always been super close mostly because he’s a lot like his dad. We’ve always been able to talk easily and for the most part have a very easy relationship. However, as kids so annoyingly do, he’s growing up too fast. That includes playing music that is not always my style, being grouchy, caring (more than I ever imagined) about his hair, telling “funny” stories that he just falls on the floor over, while I’m faking the laugh because it’s so not funny and playing with his friends whenever he can. Oh, and did I mention eating? The kid is always hungry. Even after a full meal he tells me he’s hungry. AGAIN.
Now, I know I shouldn’t complain, because he’s a great kid, makes good grades and is often complimented on his politeness. But, he’s always wanting to play basketball or football or soccer with the neighborhood boys (and then come in and eat). Which I know is good, all that exercise and all, but I want him to hang out with me. Boring old mom, who doesn’t get his jokes and tells him to clean his room and wash his feet. Why would he want to hang out with me when I can’t really throw nor do I want to get tackled (those boys can seriously throw down)? Then I discovered a way to hang out without all that guilt and nagging that only makes him want to go be with his friends more. Food! Why I hadn’t thought of it sooner? The kid loves food and I love to cook, so I figured we could marry those together and hang out in the process.
So, for the past several months, we’ve been doing a “Cooking with Mom Wednesday”. He gets to pick out the meal (within reason, besides he wants quick and simple and this works for me), I get the ingredients and Wednesdays we cook together. Even on the days when he’s out playing with his friends and I call him in (not exclaiming that he needs to come in and hang out with mommy) I’ve over heard him say, “see ya guys, I gotta go cook dinner”, almost proudly, like he’s grown up enough to cook a meal for his family. So we cook and we talk, and I learn about his friends and that he really wants to go snorkeling and visit Africa and that he hates jeans (all of a sudden?) and PT Cruisers.
Some weeks we’ve missed our cooking date and I don’t stress but most weeks we’re in there together, cooking, making a mess, learning about each other and laughing (even though they are dumb jokes). Whether you have a son or daughter that is growing up too fast, grab an easy cookbook (we use the Paula Dean kid’s cookbook a lot) and use that time to reconnect and even though there’s more of a mess you’re killing two birds with one stone. Making memories with your child and getting food on the table for your family! Two things I want to do every day.
Gretchen is a photographer in the Central Florida area. She is happily married to the greatest guy (my mom always says she couldn’t have picked anyone better for her), and have three kids who hold her heart. After graduating from college she entered the Marine Corps and spent five years on active duty as a Communications Officer. After her first son was born, she left active duty and began taking even more pictures than before. After her second son was born she took a photography class at a local college and thus began a love of things behind the lens, mostly faces and feelings. You will find her trying to garden, in the kitchen, with a good book, behind the camera and hanging out with those she’s been blessed to call her family and friends.
You can view more of Gretchen’s work at This Little Life Photography.
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