All of a sudden, it is February. I am not exactly sure how that happened- time seems to be moving much faster than usual these days. Like most people at this time of year, I have found myself reflecting on love. I am blessed beyond measure that so many loving relationships fill my life.
Recently I read an article that really got me thinking. It stated that until you learn to love yourself, you will not truly be capable of accepting love from anyone else. That thought has been lingering in my mind ever since I read it, because I know there is so much truth in it.
Self-love has never come easily to me. Like far too many women (and guys too, I’m sure), I tend towards comparing myself to others. I have so often measured myself by external standards of perfection, and criticized myself harshly for coming up short. Ever since I was very young I placed unreasonably high expectations on myself, and was never gentle with myself if they were not met. I felt like I had to hold myself to these high standards, and that I had to measure up to what I saw around me in order to succeed.
I have an inkling some of you have been there, too.
The truth is that the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to stop comparing yourself to others. This is not easy, and it doesn’t happen all at once- it has to be an intentional practice. Your art, your parenting, your home, your work, the things you have, the way you look, the circumstances in your life… they are your own. Comparing them to anything else is futile because you are unique. The world needs your story to be told, not an echo of someone else’s.
Looking within yourself- measuring your life by a standard that is internal rather than external- is the antidote to self-criticism and the recipe for learning self-love.
Your vision will become sharper and more uniquely yours as you dig deeper into who you are meant to be. You will feel comfy in your own skin, basking in who you are and who you are becoming, rather than who you once thought you ought to be. You will be able to let others into your life in a deeper way, and accept their love for you, and you will be able to love more purely and selflessly than you ever have.
Hannah Mayo
Hannah is a wedding and family lifestyle photographer, and lives in sunny South Florida with her husband and son. She loves film, coffeeshops, and the ocean, and spends her free time reading, going on family adventures, and doing just about anything creative – including writing for her blog, Seeking Equipoise. She believes that there is beauty in all the world, and that it has power to change hearts and minds.
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