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Mom Music

When I was a kid, I was blessed to have Melodie. She was essentially a second mom to me. And, she would dutifully corral me in her mini van (along with her own boys) wherever they went–school, movies, outings and even summer getaways. There was never a lack of kid-friendly boredom busters or tunes in the car. One of my favorite cassettes (yes, that’s how we used to listen to music back then), was from an obscure folk band called Uncle Bonsai–the lyrics are brilliant and hysterical. Although I was amused at the time, it wasn’t until I understood the subtleties of the lyrics as a mother that had me rolling-on-the-floor laughing–or at least donning a perma-grin. So, by the time you’re reading this, you know what I’ll be listening to as I kick off the day.

So thank you Melodie, you are still one of the most important women in my life. I am endlessly grateful for you, your sense of humor and selflessness for adopting the neighbor kid and loving her like your own–even though she added to your already overflowing single mama workload.

One favorite – a collection of things moms say ad nauseum to kids. Have a listen:

Don’t Put It In Your Mouth from Brown Paper Wrapper

Don’t put it in your mouth
You don’t know where it’s been
Don’t assume it’s candy for a minute
Don’t take it from the ground
Or from a strange old man
Other kids have vanished when they did it

Don’t bring it in the house
Because it’s not a toy
Don’t you ever point it at your sister
Go put it in your room
I’ll wash your mouth with soap
Then I’ll put you two in separate comers

Did you bring enough for everyone
Keep it to yourself or share
Go upstairs and think of what you’ve done
You’re just not my kid, I swear

Don’t swing that thing around
You just might poke an eye
Wipe that grin before it sticks forever
Don’t leave it on the floor
Or feed it to the dog
If you break it you wont get another

How many times do I have to tell you
In one ear and out the other
Don’t try talking with your mouth full
You’re behaving like your father
If you want to grow up healthy
Knock it off and put it down
Keep it clean and safe for later
And don’t you put it in your mouth

Don’t put it in your mouth
What If you should choke
Even though you didn’t choke the last time
You’d jump right off the bridge
Because the neighbor did
You should try to make your brain work sometime

Let me see your hands
Both hands both sides
Stop that sniveling now and blow
What is best for you is best for me
Don’t ask why or how just go

If you don’t want to eat
We’ll find someone who will
Starving kids in India will love it
And you’ll just go to bed
And stay there for a week or
Put it in your mouth and swallow it

How many times do I have to tell you
In one ear and out the other
Don’t try talking with your mouth full
You’re behaving like your father
If you want to grow up healthy
Knock it off and put it down
Keep it clean and safe for later
And don’t you put it in your mouth

(Knock it off)

Want more? Check out Mother to Mother, Doug’s Birthday Song, Taking the Kids to Disney World, Me and Mrs. Middle America….

Co-editor Stephanie Beaty is a blessed mama of three children and military spouse. After a 10-year career as a professional writer/PR pro she began Lifeography, a modern child + family portrait studio where she focuses on capturing relationships and connections. Although her growing family currently resides in Virginia Beach, Va., home is wherever the Navy sends them. Write to her at hello@lifeographer.com.

About Stephanie


Stephanie Beaty is a blessed, homeschooling mama of four and military spouse. After a 10-year career as a professional writer/PR pro she began Lifeography, a modern child + family portrait studio where she focuses on capturing relationships and connections. Although her growing family currently resides in Tampa, Fla., home is wherever the Navy sends them.

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  • http://lifeography.bigcartel.com/ Stephanie

    @ justsayin – guess the youtube channel pulled up their “cheekier” selections, hee hee. most aren’t!

  • justsayin’

    So I clicked on your link which took me to you tube w/ a list of their songs–the first being Boys Want Sex in the Morning, followed by Penis Envy. I decided to scroll down and came across Cheerleaders on Drugs…hmm. Hope she wasn’t playing those selections!