Someone very wise told me recently, that it took her 48 years to realize how amazingly good it is to have alone time. She is a fabulous mother to 3, and came to this realization after a trip away, sans her family. As woman, mothers, wives, having time to ourselves is vital. We don’t have to go away to be able to breath in the sweet serenity of quiet.
My mom always loved time to herself, and it wasn’t until I became a mother did I realize why. A social butterfly at heart, I do enjoy being with friends, surrounded by loved ones – however there is a beautiful peace that comes with the fleeting moments where I’m alone. Just this last week I was blessed with not one, but two incidents of just this. I had two spurts in time where both children were either sleeping or away with family members. I was giddy with excitement as I looked around our home and drank in the silence. No Tom & Jerry on TV, no rattling of baby toys, no basketball commentary. Are these bad noises you might ask? Does this make me a horrible mother? No, and no. They are beautiful noises, in fact they are the soundtrack of my life. Deep down inside however, there is a craving for this “quiet time”. I listen to my own music, light candles without fear of what chubby little hands might do to them, have a special treat without sharing. I don’t call this selfish, I call it necessary.
It seems in the ‘mommy world’ that being able to admit you desire, or furthermore enjoy this is unspoken. Oftentimes when women come together, statistics are shared in an almost competitive manner: Tommy already has 8 teeth, Madeline walked at 8 months, Ben is on varsity football, Ella has a 4.0. Is it bad to be proud of these achievements? Not at all. Is it good to be honest though, about the good AND bad? Completely. While women share statistics, friends share life. I know I’m in the company of true and honest friends when I’m able to meet at the park, tears pouring from my face, exhausted from the every day.
The moments in which I am able to sit back, enjoy the quiet of alone time is fuel for my often empty tank. It could be in the late nights after everyone is in bed, or while driving to an appointment alone, perhaps during the occasional hours that the children are with another family member or friend. I savor these moments, as they allow me to be a better mother, wife, friend.
I hope you are able to fill your tank occasionally with some time alone. If you aren’t currently, try to carve out some moments soon that you’ll be able to. You’ll be amazed at how fulfilling it can be.
I’m sharing this article with The Inspired Room’s Beautiful Life Friday.
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I just spoke of that friday on my blog. I love being with my family and friends, but they are also aware of the fact that i need time alone. sometimes just an hour can do wonders for my soul. unfortunately, many times i try to get chores/errands done in my alone time. but there are those times when i do nothing but enjoy the silent noises that are often unheard such as the birds chirping or the cat purring. our house is a noisy house when we are all home and i wouldn’t have it any other way, yet i do savor my alone times.
Completely agreed! My Mom always loved her time too and I never understood..until I had 4 kids under tow! I know a lot of Mom’s that don’t think we are allowed to want this or have it and it is a real shame! Hope you had a wonderful weekend! Thanks for your honesty!
So true! We have spoken about this on our blog as well. As a child, I used to wonder why in the world it took my mother so LONG to take a bath. Now, as a mother myself, I completely understand. It was her time, her space and her chance to recharge and be ready to tackle the day. I, like you, love the times alone in the car with no radio or bickering from the backseat. True bliss. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
beautiful. i love my quiet time. and i love *soundtracks of life* long story short, i have spent the last month at the library monday through friday from 9am-12noon (while my son is at school) and will do that until school gets out in mid-june. that is the ultimate quiet time! have an amazing monday, angie!
ahh me time would be glorious.
Thanks so much for sharing ladies! I love sitting down to read your thoughts, and to know there are others out there getting their alone time in.
Becky dear, you will get there. This can be a rough stage with your sweet little one, things will fall into a routine and I bet when you guys get into your new place and get settled you’ll be able to carve out some quiet time – hugs hon!
I love this reminder Angie, thanks for sharing your heart. I often try to remember that even Jesus took time to be alone and pray. If HE needed alone time…how much more do we need it.
I never took time to myself until the past year or so. I wish I knew then what you know now. I believe my older son was the one who brought to my attention that I should take some time for me. I am much more productive now that I take some time for me.
I really enjoy those moments alone, especially as I’m on my own with our children most of the time (husband works away for weeks at a time).
When he does come home my favourite thing to do is grab my iPod and my camera and go on a photostroll. It’s only around 30 minutes, but I truly enjoy just being able to be. :)
I read your post earlier today, but was unable to comment due to time restraints. However, I was able to take this encouragement and enjoy a wonderful evening outside in my front yard watching my children play. Then we took a nice walk. I know that doesn’t count for being alone, but with hubby out of town and no family to watch the kids, that was the closest I could get to “quiet”time. It was sweet and definitely one for the journals. Thanks Ang!
Great post.
I recently started attending a small women’s meditation group once a week and it has made such a difference in me feeling centered and grounded!
You’re absolutely right. It’s so important for mothers to find that time alone. Like you, I never understood why my mom liked her quite time so much. Of course, now I do.
Since we don’t live near family and my husband works a lot and occasionally spends a couple of weeks at the time out of town, I have really learned to cherish even the smallest blocks of time I can get for myself.
Wonderful post Angie! Thanks.
Too funny! I just read your post and noticed we both posted about the same thing on the same day! It is so important to have that quiet alone time. I don’t know how I’d keep my sanity without it now and then.
What perfect timing. I am so struggling with this balance right now. I feel like I have been giving everything I have to my kids, to my husband, to his family (mine lives far away), and to our home, and reserving very little for myself. I feel guilty when I am away from them. And I know that being a novice, I just need time and practice to find the right balance. Thank you Angie for such a wonderful post!
Abbie
I have 4 children, and love the moments of quiet. I do know though that these are good days and that the happy noises are good.
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