The daily connect.

for the past 100 years it seems i had lost focus. but my focus has become more clear over the past year. it was when i decided i would *prepare* for my 40th birthday. i wanted this number to signify change in my life. and one change was connecting more with my kids. i have four, have it told you that? 19-year-old twin daughters (they will be *gasp* 20 in october). i spend time with them, for example, driving around getting job applications with one, or laying in bed talking from 1:00-4:00am with the other one after she’d made a terrible choice and got caught. zach, my little man, is 5. we read in bed. snuggle in bed. play tic-tac-toe. lexi, she’s 13. tough to connect with at that age. the last time we connected was about a month ago. we went to a nearby town and walked in and out of the lovely shops. i learned she enjoys fine (homemade) cheese as seen when we entered an amazing little cheese/wine/beer shop. and she loves to touch pretty things in the little shops along the way. thanks for another eye watering heart stopping brain thinking post! have a lovely thursday.

My almost 4yod is not shy about asking me to cuddle on the couch (she needs skin to skin contact too and is always touching my tummy as we cuddle); my 9yod likes us to have special novels to read aloud together, just us two and at times we’ll go for “coffee” or shopping together to look for something she’s interested in. My 13 yo son loves food – the greasier the better! Taking him out for a burger is a love language for him. He has no problems talking my ear off but I have to work hard at giving him my full attention. He also likes us to read novels simultaneously, or aloud, so we can discuss them and later watch the movie together (ex. Lord of the Rings Trilogy). My husband and I try and sit down for coffee at home, once/wk, to talk and discuss the upcoming week and in warmer weather we like to go for a walk, without kids (cell-phone on), holding hands and talking. I love it when we climb into bed earlier too and just talk in the dark for an hour. I also work hard at connecting with my closest friends, whether through email, getting together for a walk or coffee… sometimes little notes or gifts too, just to remind them they are loved and important to me. I don’t think we can ever go wrong letting people know they are cherished and needed and valued.

We must be on the same wavelength. I’ve been thinking (and writing) about this a lot lately. Connecting with little ones really is so easy . . . so easy, it’s easy to forget to do it. I’m trying to grab them up for hugs and snuggles more often. One-on-one time together works nicely when we can make a place for it in the schedule.

Such important truth here.

Connecting is so important yet so missing from most of our lives. We are so busy “doing” for our families that we miss the relationships – the best part.

thank you for another thought provoking post. i homeschool my kids & i’ve really been struggling with it & them lately. when school is over, i often need some time & space for myself (& so do they!). i started a little bedtime tradition awhile ago – we have a story together, then as i put each of them to bed, we snuggle together & i ask them to tell me about 5 things that made them happy that day then we always say i love you. its a special time for us to connect & everyone looks forward to sharing (or hearing) 5 or more things each nite. focussing on the happy things helps them to go to sleep with happy thoughts (good for worriers like my dd) its been a lovely way to finish each day.

I try to take my kids out on dates whenever possible. Then I always ask them what they want to talk about. My 4.5 yr son often says, “Let’s talk about our family and how much we love each other!”

Music to a mama’s ears….

Jamie

With all the busyness and so on sometimes we forget to connect and have a quality time with our own children. Thanks for the reminder.