05-11-2010

The importance of YOU in photographs*

Series1

As women, as mothers, as photographers it’s just the card we’ve been dealt. We are often the ones behind the camera. We’re the ones that see the tiny moments every 5 seconds unfolding that deserve capturing. We’re the ones that want to document the days of our children that we know will be gone tomorrow. And, most likely we’re the ones that know how to use the camera.

Yet, there will be a time when we will sit down and will pour over old photos. We’ll laugh at the captured temper-tantrum, cry over the momentous events and sigh over the freshly bloomed flowers we caught one late, Spring afternoon. Will we – in the piles of memories – find ourselves? Will our kids know what their days and moments looked like with us? At future weddings and even funerals will slideshows include photos of us (not just photos we’ve taken)? At our 50th wedding anniversary will we be able to laugh at all the fun looks we went through as a married couple?

It boils down to this: BEING IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS BEING BEHIND IT.

Your children will thank you. Your friends and family will thank you. You will thank you.

So, what are some ways you can work at making sure this happens?

1. ONCE A WEEK

Make it a goal to get into at least 1 photo a week. This can happen by handing someone else the camera, setting it on a timer or investing in a wireless remote.

2. DON’T BE OBSESSED WITH PERFECTION

This is two-fold. 1. Who cares what you look like in the photos? Don’t you want to be remembered for who you were even fresh out of bed, not just dolled up? Absolutely! Make-up or no make-up, you are perfect just the way you are. 2. The photo taken of you does not have to be contest-worthy. Don’t feel as if it needs to be taken with your DSLR (if you even own one). Use your camera phone or your point and shoot. Don’t worry about editing it pretty and posting it to your family blog. Just smile and archive it.

3. TAKE PHOTOS FOR NO GOOD REASON

It’s 6 p.m., you’re eating dinner with the family – it’s the same thing you do every night. But wait. It won’t be the same thing you do every night forever. Take a photo. There’s nothing big happening, but at the same time there is. It’s family dinner. On a Tuesday night. 2010. Everyone’s happy and Jimmy has funny bangs because he cut his own hair. Your flowers are in bloom. The sun is setting low. It’s an average day today. It will not be an average picture tomorrow. Promise.

4. TEACH SOMEONE HOW TO USE YOUR CAMERA

And, then go out for no good reason and get a few good photos of you and your kids. Or you and your girlfriends. Have your husband or friend take a picture of you riding your bike, sewing, sleeping. Whatever it is! Just capture it. I promise these are the types of photos you will love most later on.

5. INVEST IN PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS

Last Fall I realized that I have very few photos of me. Honestly, it made me really sad. I don’t feel for one second that I’m in my prime, but I am. I’m young and happy and I have my hair and teeth. And, something else really important. I have a really creazy-wonderful relationship with the man of my dreams. It’s just him and me and our crazy dog. One day (soon we hope) we’re going to wake up to a house full of kids and will not be able to remember what these days we’re living were like.

Once I made this realization I quickly scheduled a photo shoot with a professional photographer here in town. I made sure to find someone whom I adored artistically (he shoots only medium-format film) and who I knew would give us final photographs we would love to frame within our home.

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Since I’m a professional photographer myself we were able to barter services and I was given the rights to the images. But, had we not made that agreement I would have paid *good* money for the images. I don’t just see pictures. I see 7-years of incredible memories and love and life and laughter, tears and travels and a team. We are a team. These pictures remind me of that every single day.

Since then I made a book of our favorite 12 images and on the other 8 pages put notes of things that describe our lives today. Inside jokes and random bits, movies we love, countries we’ve traveled to. Feelings on infertility and our desires to build a family. I know this book has now become a family heirloom. And, it has spurred me on to do it again this Fall.

Every year I want to pay for quality photographs so that I can continue to create “memory” books. With me in them.

Creative Mamas, I invite you to see yourself for who you are. You are a child, daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother. You deserve to be preserved. Take those steps to be remembered for centuries to come. Your family will be grateful.

About Jessica

Jessica is a full-time lifestyle photographer mainly focusing on families and children. In her free time she loves a good memoir, is a sucker for reality TV, loves DIY projects and is addicted to traveling the world. Find her at 503 Photography and browse through her blog to get a peek into the girl behind the lens!

F L &R

+ - 44 comments

Stacey - This is a very good post. I tired doing a self portrait about once a month for a while. I still do one occationally. But, normally on important days I MAKE someone take my camera, (whether they know how to use it or not.) and take a photo of us. I want my kiddo to remember what we all looked like!

natasha - Hi thank you, this brought a tear to my eye, over the last 6 years the only photos I have with me in them are prego pics, I hate getting my picture taken but I’m sad to not have capture memories of me with my babies or me playing with them.( how sad is that ) :{

now to figure out away to take photos with me in them???

Rana - This is so true. Since my mom died 2 years ago I’m so thankful that she was a camera freak. She loved taking pictures and always made sure she was in shots with us. Now I can look back at these photos and remember all the fun we had. Kristyn at Really are you serious? host a series called Mommy and Me Mondays and every week you take a picture of you with your kids and link up to her blog. It has been a great way to make sure I’m in some photos with my family. Here is the link.

http://www.reallyareyouserious.com/2010/02/mommy-and-me.html

stacey woods - Bravo, Jessica!!! Love your words, your images, and the message. You are 100% right and I often need reminded myself. So thank you!! I love that you\\\’ve started your memory books now to remember your alone time with your husband (and doggy!). You know, you are saving up blessings for those future babies of yours. And one day soon they\\\’ll be so grateful.

Amy - Thanks so much for this article, Jessica! I swear that my children are going to think I was never around: where was I at Disneyland, the zoo, the beach, Christmas?!?! I am going to hand that camera over to my husband! I always look forward to your posts!!!
Amy in CA

launa - You are so right. I have been putting off having our family photos done…..until I loose weight……well that could be forever at the rate that I am going. I just hate seeing myself in images! I remember how sad it was when I was younger and my brother passed away, we had never taken the time to take a professional family photograph and how sad it was for my parents. You never know what tomorrow will bring and it is so important to capture the memories, that is exactly why I am in this business…….I guess I just need to take my own advice! Thanks for the kick in the pants!

Brenda - Oh how I need to do this! The last time I was in a photo with my kids…My oldest child was 18 months at the time and we now have a new addition and he\’s 2!! Thanks for the reminder! I\’m vowing to do what you suggested!!

Angie - J E S S I C A. My dear. This has touched me in so many ways. Probably my fave of your articles to date. Yes, it is. Though I “know” this in the back of my head I don’t do it. You’ve made me think of things like never before…

“Don’t worry about editing it pretty and posting it to your family blog. Just smile and archive it.”

and

“It’s 6 p.m., you’re eating dinner with the family – it’s the same thing you do every night. But wait. It won’t be the same thing you do every night forever. Take a photo.”

Oh I could squeeze you.

natalyn - This was such a beautiful and eye-opening article. I tend to stay behind the camera because that’s where I’m most comfortable, but you are right. My children are going to want to have those preserved memories of me. I sure wish I had more pictures of my parents.

AmyC - I just love you Jessica!! This was my goal this year, and I’ve really failed at it! Especially since my p&s broke! Thanks for the reminder!!

GayleV - Over the last month, as I have put together our 2009 family album, I have realized just how few pictures I am in (I believe it was 5, to be exact.) I knew it wasn’t a lot because I am the one who takes most of the pictures in our house but I didn’t realize quite the extent until I started keeping track. However, I have already changed that for 2010 and am teaching my kids to use my camera so that they can take pictures as well. THANKS for the reminder. Could you repost this article in August just to remind me ?

Carly - Thank you for the reminder. Our children deserve to have memories of us.

Clearly Composed - This post touched me because I lost a dear friend in 2008, a wonderful, generous, giving woman and when I went through my pictures to find one of her to display, there wasn’t one to be found, not one. She was always behind the camera. I am not a great photographer but, I am a great memory builder and will be sure the camera gets passed around in my own circle more often. Thanks for sharing this today.

Leslie - This was a good reminder for me. I’m always taking the pictures. You’ve inspired me to make it a goal to be IN more of them. Great ideas!

Melanie | Dietriffic - I love this article, thank you so much. So often I’m totally paranoid about having my picture taken, especially if I don’t look “my best”. You’ve just blown my silly notions out the window, I will try to remember this next time ))

Laura - You are so right. I am hardly EVER in photos. And when I am it\’s about as close as the length of my arm. Will my three year old take pictures of me? That look good? We\’ll try something. It\’s worth it, for the memories. Don\’t forget the MOM, the Maker Of Miracles!! She was there!

Preppy 101 - I know exactly what you’re talking about. There are hardly any pics of me with R & S when they were babies, holidays, special occasions, etc. I was always taking the pictures. Too late now though. Glad you are forewarning all your readers!! xoxo

Cyndy Bresden - Oh what a great reminder….and one of the reasons I am so excited my 8 year old daughter is taking 503 Photography’s upcoming class! I will be the best behaved subject ever! Thanks Jessica for making this possible.

elizabeth - love this post! i realized looking at pictures not too long ago, that i\\\’m not in any of them. so my daughter and i did a photo shoot with a local photographer for mother\\\’s day. that is something i will always treasure

Heather - Great post! I just want to share your thoughts with everyone. After years of working at a portrait studio, I hear people come up with reasons all the time why they’re not ready to do a family portrait…they need to lose weight, they just want a portrait of the kids, when their family is complete, etc… but things change day to day, and now is a precious time. Take the photos now…and when things change for the better or worse, take them again!

Lisa Anderson - Have you been talking to my mom? Did she tell you to write this post as a way to remind me that I need to relinquish the camera more so that I can actually prove I was there at all those fantastic moments – and even some of the just everyday moments? Well…if it wasn’t her that talked you into sending me this subtle message you still spoke so many wonderful thoughts about something I really need to do so much better.

I bought a digital frame for my husband for Christmas to have at work and it somehow just stayed in the dining room on the buffett because the kids LOVED seeing the pictures as they flip by. It’s so fun to see their expressions and hear memories about certain events. My son will often say, “I loved that day…” and then to see their reaction when they realize new photos have been added is so much fun. BUT…just the other day my son (6 Yrs Old) said, “I loved that day…but you weren’t there mommy do you don’t remember.” I reminded him that I was there, afterall it was me who took the picture. BUT tt reminded me, yet again, that I need to be in front of the camera more and not just always behind it.

Both of our children are adopted (from Foster care – so they’ve had tough starts to life) so I want to do better about documenting more than just THEIR lives but our FAMILY’s life.

Thank you for this eloquent and heartfelt reminder that I really do need to make this happen!

Vanessa - I love this. I take way too many pictures, but have very few with me in them. And of those even fewer that I would like to see again. My husband is sweet enough to take a few snapshots for me when i ask, but it would be great to teach him a bit more about the camera and to get some professional photos soon.

Jacqueline at Marbles Rolling - LOVE this post! Thanks for the reminder, and the awesome tips!

shaina - i absolutely adore this post. and agree completely. thats been a big reason for my 52 weeks project this year…. get get in front of the camera.
thanks jess for another great post!!
<3

Cari - This is SO something that I struggle with. My daughter will be 2 in about 3 weeks, and there are only a handful of pictures of us together that I didn\’t take. It makes me sad I am definitely taking you up on your challenge. I loved this post! I\’m also following you now

Dani - What a great post. As moms I think we can never be reminded enough about this!

julie k. - this is an awesome post! it is one reason why i started a 52 in 2010 self portrait project. so far so good – i have 19 pictures of me {or parts of me}. i include them on my blog but i also have them all in once place on flickr. http://www.flickr.com/photos/artsylife/sets/72157623091548577/
i’d like to make a photo book out of them at the end of the year … just for fun – it sort-of documents what i was in to each week – a birthday, becoming an auntie, art projects … it’s been fun!

Barb - This is SUCH an important message to pass along to all moms. I’ve heard it time and time again, but it’s always good to be reminded.

Jaimie - I totally agree! I wrote a post about this a few weeks ago and started doing a “Self Portrait Saturday” series. I’d love for more people to take part!

Jaimie - Oops, I meant to add the link! Here it is:

http://twochicksandahen.blogspot.com/2010/05/self-portrait-saturday.html

Michelle Sidles - Great post.

I’m doing a 365 this year and I have so many ORDINARY photos now that I treasure. I also bought the wireless remote for like $20. That was the best money I ever spent on camera gear. It has put me in family photos & self portraits.

Thanks for the great nudge.

Jasmine - It’s funny how the path to being a custom photographer makes us value custom photography so much more…. okay, maybe not surprising – but I know of so many photographers who didn’t realize how important or valuable a family session would be until we started doing it consistently for other people. My husband claims that it’s only necessary every once in awhile, while I want someone to capture my family at least every 6 months

Gretchen - What a beautiful article! Its hard to get in front of the camera, but I love being with my family, the people I love most and want those memories captured for me too!

Jynene - important post! thank you. love your work. amazing.

Ruth - This is a point I am constantly trying to get across to my friends, as so many of them not only forget to get in front of the camera, they think they do not “look up to” having pictures taken of them. My mother also hated having her picture taken, and when she died at 32, leaving behind 4 young kids, she left very few pictures of herself for us to remember her. Consequently, I regularly pass the camera off to another adult (or even a responsible kid!) and jump in the shot myself, not matter how look. Great article, and beautiful photos!

Investment of Family Portraits :: Yakima, Washington Photographer « Samantha Deyette Photography Blog - [...] It is an important and worthy investment and I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t believe all of the above to be true. If you’re reading this right now, I think you probably feel the same. Investments can be scary and we tend to wait for that “perfect” time. Sadly, that time will most likely never come. (Trust me, this invesment lasts much longer than the thrill from a new tv or expensive purse.) It is a true investment that just gets sweeter with time. As the days and years run together, don’t forget to stop and have moments captured with your whole family, including you! [...]

HALSTALLGANDY - Hello. And Bye.

Keri - Love love love this. Wiping a few tears. Thank you thank you for such a beautiful reminder of capturing the everyday!!!! I am getting in the pictures more, (ignoring my muffin top 4 kids stomach!!) and being glad I did!!
thank you

Shelley - Thanks for such a good reminder. I actually like having my picture taken but always feel shy about getting someone else to take my camera. I love the idea of doing a family photo shoot with a professional photographer while it is just the two of us; there are so many ideas and emotions from now that I’ll want to remember later. Which kind of brings me to the reason I’m writing a comment: Of all the words in your post the one that caused the biggest response was actually “infertility.” It’s something we’re dealing with right now (it’s been two and a half years) and I really want to know how other people manage to deal with it. Half our friends had babies this spring and summer (roughly one a month from May through August) and sometimes we’re fine and sometimes I just want to break down crying or yell at someone and I feel so awful for not just feeling happy for these new parents.

AgentElviseses - fsagghgmant

dette - I hate having my photo taken and have spent much time backing out of the field of view whenever there is a chance I could be in one, until recently when a friend said ” Stop! It’s not about you, do it for your kids one day they will want a photo of you and there will be none.”
Just what I need as a mother more guilt! but now I do make sure that every now and then I allow my photo to be taken.

Joni - Thanks for saying what we all feel. I am jumping in the next pic, and using the self timer if I have to!

Well done.

Joni

Movie Night {A Self Portrait} » Ciera Chante Photography - [...] read some much needed advice this week… “It’s 6 p.m., you’re eating dinner with the family – it’s the same thing you do every …The Creative [...]

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