Kika touched on something recently that I’ve been thinking a lot about, the kindred-spirit friendships. Wikipedia describes this as: Someone who shares similar thoughts, feelings, someone who is close in temperament and nature to yourself, to whom you have a rare spiritual link that is very special and you can’t quite explain.
I describe it as: someone who shares your soul.
Having these kinds of relationships is vital. They nourish us, and hold us when we can’t seem to hold ourselves. They remember the tiniest of details, and they know just when to step in and just what to do. As women we crave this type of companionship, and rightfully so! Whether you are a college student, a new wife, a sister, a mother, a grandmother – whatever walk of life you are in, we can truly benefit from the love and heart of a dear friend.
Our cell phones are full of phone numbers, our inboxes full of emails – but if you sit back and really think it through… just how many of those contacts shares your soul? Who was the first you called to announce your engagement? Which was there for the birth of your newborn? Should you experience illness or death, who could you count on to be right over – rain or shine? I wonder, are these types of friends out there and we don’t notice, could we be overlooking a possible heart to heart because our own lives are too busy to pause and encourage that friendship to blossom? I’ve been guilty of the latter on many occasion, and I look back wondering what beautiful thing I possibly missed.
I am blessed to have women in my life with whom I can share my soul. The beauty in it is, these relationships have blossomed over time and in different and meaningful ways. This wasn’t the case for me years ago though. I went through a difficult time where my idea of kindred friendship was far too warped. Thankfully, time heals us and we grow and evolve into who we are today. I now have a group of women with whom I DO share births, and tears, and love, and life. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
Just as we put our energy into our husbands, and our children, and our work – our friendships need to be nourished and given the love and encouragement they deserve.
Do you have a kindred-spirit friend? If so, how would you encourage another who is seeking this? Love to hear your comments!
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Sigh…my best of best friends live 3 hours away. I see them maybe 4 times a year? This post really made me miss them…neither were able to be here for my daughter’s birth…they didn’t see her until she was THREE MONTHS old! How awful is that? Thanks for the reminder to encourage these friendships ~ I don’t do nearly enough of that.
So, so true! I do have a kindred-spirit friend. I don’t know what I would do without her. I actually met her at church and she is the only person (of course other than God) that I can truly tell how I feel or how I am not that perfect person and not be judged. We think alike, our lives growing up are similar and we both try to live our lives with our families the same (although she is a lot better at it than me!) LOL. I find encouragement through her and it is an awesome feeling! She is actually the other author on my blog. I would encourage any woman to reach out to people that have those same interests, etc. It is an awesome Gift to have! Sorry for the long comment!
Angie – so true! I have found as I have become a new mother that the friends I thought where important have become less so. And the friendships I had left on a shelf so to speak have brought themselves forward. My suggestion to find these connections would be to just be open to everyone. You never know where or when they will arrive into your life!
Thank you ladies for sharing!
Stacy, I agree with you. Regardless of how far or near your kindred friends are – we should be sure to encourage these friendships.
Chele, it sounds like you have an amazing friend there. What a blessing you must be to each other!
Nikky you make a good point – you really never know who could already be in your life or who could walk right in… today maybe? Keep your eyes open and your heart ready to embrace that.
my kindred bff is now 6 hours away :-( my family is 3 hours away. i agree with nikki birth of a baby really shows who your real friends are.
…”sniff-sniff” I am trying not to cry, I am 2 states away from friends and 3 states away from family…I do have 2 friends that come to mind when I reflect on our past encounters ( in person). It is unfortuante that LIFE “gets in the way” and we take for granted how those kindred friendships began. If your friends are nearby, SQUEEZE them tight and remind them how special they really are to you.
Thanks for the post , Ang! :) HUGS!
Ohhh. If I could only tell you how relevant this post is to me today. My BFF sent it to me and said I’m her kindred friend and to read it. This coming after a very bad weekend. In the past year we’ve weathered the birth of a child who had some special needs to both of our parents getting divorced to brain aneurysms to infertility issues. God has truely blessed me and brought her into my life as I don’t know how I would make it through some days. Even the days she does nothing out of the ordinary, just being herself soothes my soul. I heart her so much!
My kindred spirits always seem to live on the other side of the world! Or at least it feels that way. Those friendships are few and far between, which is why they are so priceless. I’m surprised at how often these relationships develop from the unexpected, when you’re not even looking for them.
Jamie
I haven’t found a kindred-spirit friendship yet. I had one in high- school (15 years ago) but she drastically changed within five years after we graduated. I am searching for a connection with someone, the one I can call whenever, about anything. I’ve been really missing it. It’s like a loneliness I can’t quite explain. Wish me luck on my search.
absolutely beautiful post. i’ve been talking to god on occassion about the girlfriends in my life. well, i guess the lack thereof. how did i get here? too busy? the feeling of being inadequate? the feeling that i have nothing to offer? so i *pause* and am waiting on the lord. until then, i will focus on my husband and children and our newly purchased home. and the new life of not working. and just as god brought about my life today in his perfect timing (i’ve never been so happy), i will wait on his perfect timing for the girlfriendships my heart so deeply desires. thanks for blessing us with your words!
I was just discussing this concept a couple of weeks ago with a friend online. We have never met face-to-face (though we will this summer) and yet we both described our friendship as being that of “kindred spirit.” I was intrigued by this idea and compared it to David & Jonathan’s friendship described in 1 Samuel.
What a precious gift … to have someone in our lives who just “gets” us … accepts us … loves us … and knows us. I cannot imagine anything more valuable!!
Teri Lynne, thank you for sharing and what a wonderful comparison. I have met some of those most amazing women online – have fun this summer!
Angie this post was truly beautiful. Over the last year I have been blessed with several new kindred-spirit friends and also been able to stay close to the ones I had before. I have often reflected on what these special women were to me and I have finally found the words through your post. Thank-you.
Trachelle, glad to be of help – so happy that you are blessed with amazing kindred spirit friends! Hugs!