Being mama to a four-year-old comes with your basic tempter tantrums, learning of letters and numbers, eskimo kisses, and the occasional embarrassing stories they like to tell total strangers. It also comes with new fears, new routines, and new habits. He is learning his numbers, letters, colors and more at preschool. He loves to hang out in his undies, drink strawberry milk, and dance around with his brother. This boy is my first-born, my heart and soul.
At the end of the day, I am known to lose my patience. Let’s face it, it’s true. Evening comes and I’m sure like many of you, we deal with the witching hour. It’s not quite bedtime yet everyone is tired. As much as my busy and exhausted body fights it, I get frustrated. Slowly but surely the boys get tucked into bed… sippy cups, songs, prayer, and kisses. When the time comes for me to hit the hay I do the usual… lock up the house, shut down computer, brush teeth, etc. I climb into our cozy king-sized bed. Then as I have done for the last year, I grab the extra pillow and stick it in the middle. It lays there cold and empty, just waiting… for him.
You see, my darling boy that slept through the night at 8 weeks now comes into our room. every. single. evening. He started this after baby brother was born, we knew there was transition. Then he started to get really scared at night, we cut out all questionable cartoons. Pretty soon said transition and fears were history – yet night after night he snuck into our room. The hubs and I had the chat about this on many occasion and we heard ‘the experts’ tell us what a horrible habit it was.
You know what though? I sort of don’t mind, shhh!
I guarantee that although it will be a nice change when he stops, it will certainly be bittersweet. So for now I’m happy to leave the pillow in the middle, because really, he is only four for so long.
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Four year olds are wonderful! My youngest is four and makes us smile and laugh so often throughout each day. She too loves to climb into bed with us and when I send her back to her room she whimpers, “I just want to sleep with another person.” I totally understand how she feels and I do love her cuddles and let her stay with us often. It definitely affects my and my husband’s sleep, though, so we’re trying to have her spend more full nights in her own bed. But I don’t stress about this at all because these days (and nights) are incredibly precious… wish I could have a fabulous four year old in my life forever :)
Mine, too – and all three when hubbie is working nights – they’re eight, seven and five – they all sleep fine, though I don’t. But it’s too precious to miss, and these wonderful years are passing too fast….
Angie,
We have been having the same issue. Our daughter is 3 and just recently started to be “afraid” at night. She spent a few weeks in our bed, finally we put a tiny fan back in her room (we took it out when it got colder this fall) and she’s been sleeping pretty well. She still has a very hard time getting to bed so I’m not sure what the real issue was.
I too wondered what happened to my wonderful little girl who slept through the night when she was 2 weeks old. I knew it couldn’t last. Our 1 year old had that middle pillow last night for some reason… I’m not a fan of the bed sharing, I need my sleep. But it sure is a nice way to wake up in the morning with a sweet little guy snuggled up with you! :)
Ah, the roller coaster ride that is life with a four year old. The sweet boy that says “I love you” at random times throughout the day is the same boy that threw such a big tantrum at dinner the other night we ended up waiting in the car for the rest of our family. It’s not the highs and lows, but the everyday moments that I hang onto. ~andrea
Good for you! My 4-yr-old guy comes in v. early in the morning and then the baby wakes and my husband pulls her into our bed too. We only have a Queen so it makes for a v. cozy time but one that I absolutely cherish!
Aww….it’s so sweet to have them with us at night, even when the bed gets a little squishy. My daughter is 5 and in her last year of preschool. I am saddened to think that when she starts kindergarten she may no longer what to climb into bed with us. But for now, with hubby gone, I have both my babies right beside me all through the night. I’m sure the experts say, ‘shame on you’ but I don’t care. It works for us and it feels right. It feels like comfort to lay my head on my pillow at night, and then wrap my arms around my babies, my most treasured gifts in my life.
Have you ever listened to the song Let them be little? http://countrymusic.about.com/library/blbd-letthembelittle.htm Really applies here –
So let them be little ’cause they’re only that way for a while
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
Oh just let them be little
My now four year old son has slept with us since he came home from the hospital! His sister is only 2 years older and she has always been perfect sleeping on her own. Our youngest is almost 2 and HE sleeps in his crib. I laughed when I saw that you put the pillow in the middle – I have been doing that forever! We are expecting our 4th and so I wonder what the nights will be like. I’ve started saying, “you know, to go to kindergarten you have to stay in your bed all night.” We’ll see.
Blissful moments – it’ll be no time till he’s a teenager too embarassed to kiss Mum in public – so cherish the cuddles – that’s totally my approach! And stuff what any expert says!
My daughter did this around 5 years of age. She has always been my most cuddly and quiet. I LOVED it. Interestingly, she stopped all on her own about the time my baby was born. She now only comes in occasionally when she is sick or scared. I kind of miss it, too!
You are right they are only 4 for so long.. my kids come and get in bed with us early in the morning. It is our way of trying to get a little more sleep before they are ready to get up and go.
I\’ve always allowed any of my three monkeys to come in my room at night. I finally convinced my sweet husband that this time is precious and there will (sob) come a day when they don\’t want to snuggle or sleep in the same room with us. To make it easier on my husband and I, we put a single mattress under my side of the bed that we slide out whenever needed. This way my little one feels close enough to me, and honestly, I love looking down from my side and seeing a sweet, slumbering bundle (the youngest is 7) sleeping away feeling very secure and safe. One more bonus, when one of them is sick, I can keep an eye on them during the night. This is great for me. Blessings to you.
yes. right on, mama.
Our 4 year old comes to our room when she’s scared, which (thankfully for her dad) is not every night. She’s an acrobat when she’s sleeping, covering the entire bed, be it a king size, queen or twin bed. Somehow she doesn’t kick me much, but her daddy gets the brunt of it, right in the kidneys. Recently she has started kicking daddy to try and get him to stop snoring! We should have gotten a full size bed for her, so I could more easily lay down with her when the monsters hit.
awesome post…great photo and story!!!! LOVE that age! treasure it while you can.
Our 15 month old started to sleep with us when he got sick earlier this summer, now he sleeps with us every night. I know that I would sleep better without him tossing about, but I have fallen in love with having him next to me. We lost our oldest son a year before this little guy came along so we are pretty over protective. I think we both feel better knowing that checking on him is as easy as opening an eyelid. No telling how long this will last, but we are trading up to a king in January so we can have a little extra room (our current queen is getting tight!). Never really thought I was a co-sleeper, but it turns out that it works for our family. Plus, my baby is hot natured, so I have my own little heater rolled right next to me!
My son will be 3 in Dec. I felt like I was reading my bedtime routine. A lot of people give me a hard time for letting him come into our bed but I really don’t mind it. He is our only right now and if that is how God wants it he will be our only forever. Knowing this I am not quick to have him grow up and not need us. I also put the pillow in the middle every night and the morning I wake up and he is in his bed it will be bittersweet for sure.
Sweet post! Did you see The Creative Mama was featured as a favorite mama site of Pioneer Woman’s today? Here’s the link : http://thepioneerwoman.com/homeschooling/2009/10/mama-don%E2%80%99t-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-deadbeats/
Love your chore card idea!
LOL!! My kids both slept in our room most nights till my son was 6 and my daughter JUST stopped sleeping in our room this summer.
It sounds worse than it was though…The rules were they had to start off in their room and after the age of 5 they had to sleep either on the floor or the couch as the foot of our bed ;-)
shhhh…I miss them to. I need another one so we can do it all over again! :-)
We have a pillow in the middle for our youngest, who just turned four.
I love four.
When my now 10 yr old was four, I said those words so much that he didn\’t want to turn five.
I loved five.
I love all the years.
Even the eventful ones my teen girls are giving me now.
I co-slept with both my children. My youngest is still in our bed although I’m weaning him to his own room. My daughter went to her own bed at 15 months and returned often. Now I’d say 5 out of 7 nights she comes climbs into our bed and lays down at the end like a dog. We don’t mind you’re only little once and its nice to know mum and dad are always there for cuddles.
My daughter was a TERRIBLE sleeper as a baby. Colic, up constantly, etc. etc. When my husband started extensive business travel when she was 9 months old, I started bringing her into bed with me when she cried in the middle of the night. Guess what – we ALL started sleeping better. She apparently needed someone close to her and was able to soothe herself when she sensed someone near.
My doctor, who was the dad of two colicky children, told me that he once hosted an Indian doctor in his home on a medical exchange. The Indian doctor was both horrified and amused that we expect very young children to sleep away from their parents and in completely separate rooms. He thought it was quite harsh. So… maybe there’s more than one way to look at this issue.
We have pillows in the middle too. Our babies creep into our bed early in the morning, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. We only have a queen, so it gets quite cramped, but we just call it “cozy”. ;) Love this post, thank you for sharing your heart, Angie. xo
My 3 year old has started sneaking into bed too. We don\’t mind either. Don\’t tell our parents, they will scold us for sure. :)
enjoy it. it wont last that long.