The Creative Mama » inspiring art, encouraging women

The Second Baby

Congratulations to the talented photographer Lori Allen, who gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Violet yesterday. She was kind enough to share a letter she wrote to her son in anticipation of his becoming a big brother:

The second baby. It’s crazy how little fanfare there is compared to the first. How even the pregnancy holds no surprises because you know whats to come.

It’s amazing the things you worry about during the second round. With your first, you stress about the baby, do you have all the things you need (most of which you don’t need in reality) you worry about how your relationship with your partner will change.

While these things have definitely crossed my mind again, they aren’t on the front burner.

What is? My 3 year old. My little boy. Anyone who knows me, or even follows my blog knows that I think he’s just the bees knees. Today I was woken up by him at sunrise with a kiss on the forehead and a grin. Have you ever been kissed on the forehead by a 3 year old? There might be nothing sweeter. It was a good way to start the day.

I decided we will just have to have dates, just like my husband and I try to do now. So we started today. I took him to the movies and let him have his own bag of M&M’s. I gave him his own dollar and took him to the dollar store. We played legos and went to the playground… we read 3 stories before his nap and played outside when he woke up.

It was our day. I am exhausted and my heart is happy.

Here is a letter I wrote to my now only child today during his nap:

“Sweet Little Ryder,

Thank you for being you. My wild, sweet, witty, superhero, lego loving little boy. Thanks for making me laugh every day.

I know you can’t possibly understand what’s happening to me right now. You’ll be a big brother very soon. You just see that Mommy is bigger and tired and not as much fun at the playground as before.

You have taught me so much in the past 3.5 years. I’ve learned to stop and live in the moment more often. Because every day you grow older is bittersweet for me. I’ve learned that sometimes fresh air and sunshine make everything better, that I have magical kisses that heal, that sometimes everything looking perfect isn’t as important as your family being happy. I’ve learned that I need to be the best possible person I can be because you are watching and taking in more than I realize with every passing day. Plus I’ve also learned a LOT about dinosaurs.

Ever since you were born, I rush home to you whenever I’m away. I don’t want to miss a second of this magical time when you are little. You’re suddenly going to look so big to me. I know you will change and grow up a lot in the coming months. I remember looking at your tiny hands when you were born and being in awe that I grew them. They still look so small and sweet to me and I know soon they’ll look so big in comparison. I promise I will remind myself to stop, put down the baby and be there for you… to make the most of the only time in your life you’ll be 3 and 4.

You have the sweetest spirit I have ever known and I am sure you’ll love your little sister. She will be here soon. Four short weeks if she’s early like you. She will be celebrated and loved by everyone, just as you were. Please know during this time that you will always have my heart. It’s just going to grow big enough to hold enough love for two.

I would love to tell you that things aren’t going to change that much, that your life will go on the same. But that’s not true. Our world is about to be rocked. You will probably be woken up at night for a while. You’ll be dragged to doctor appointments for her and I won’t be able to play as much while I’m feeding your sister. You will have to learn to share everything. Even our precious story time every night. But after a while you’ll find that you have a cool little friend and that all of your friends will think you are so lucky.

Because you will be. We all will be.

Because if she’s anything like you. If she’s half as funny, adorable and loving as you, there will be no way to get around loving her more than we can stand. Just think, you’ll never get a chance to feel lonely, as I’m sure she won’t let you.

One day, when I’m not on this earth anymore, I hope you can look at her and see pieces of me and I hope more than anything that this makes you smile. You’ll always be my favorite little boy in the whole wide world. I am so grateful that my life has been blessed with you.

“I love you more than you love me.”


About the author:

Lori is a new mother of two and a photographer based in Newport News, Virginia. Find her online at or on Facebook.

About Stephanie

Stephanie Beaty is a blessed, homeschooling mama of four and military spouse. After a 10-year career as a professional writer/PR pro she began Lifeography, a modern child + family portrait studio where she focuses on capturing relationships and connections. Although her growing family currently resides in Tampa, Fla., home is wherever the Navy sends them.

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  • Sara

    This is the sweetest letter ever, I cried reading the whole thing. I have a 4yr old son and he’s my world.

  • Pingback: Baby Violet | Lori Allen Photography()

  • Naomiella

    Oh goodness…crying here. Just beautiful and hits close to home seeing as I have a 4 yr old boy and just had another boy 2 months ago! My little one has taught me so much about dinosaurs too :) love this post

  • Ingridbayne

    Yep! she’s my friend:)

  • The F Girl

    Gosh, I can’t read letters like these without tearing up. I’m a big baby. So sweet!