Four and a half years ago I was given a gift, a priceless and beautiful gift who weighed in at 8 lbs, 9 oz. He took forever to make his appearance but did it with a bang. A few years later came his brother – who has added such fun and laughter to our home. God has trusted me with these beautiful boys and I adore them so.
I’m married to a man who not only loves and supports me and all I do – but gave me the opportunity to stay home with these crazy monkeys, a choice I know I am blessed to be able to make. As many seasoned mothers will say… cherish your children while they are little, for they grow so quickly. As a young mother that phrase sounds so foreign, yet I know 10-20 yrs will pass before I know it and my cuddly little guys will smell of baseball and dirt – and be too old for forts and imaginative play.
I’ve done some soul searching, quite a bit of soul searching over the past few weeks. What are my priorities? Where does my family fit in with the many hats I wear? Am I putting other commitments in front of these precious beings that call me mama? The sad answer is – my priorities aren’t where they should be, my hats are getting jumbled, and my family is certainly not coming in first.
We’ve all been there, it happens and it’s normal.
Simple Mom recently hit the nail on the head when she said: Every choice we make in life is both a choice to do something and a choice to not do something. When we make the decision to spend time, energy, and money to pursue a task, there’s something else from which we’re subtracting that time, energy, and money.
The fact is, my time and energy are waning. Being mom is a full-time job, my photography business is a full-time job, writing for this blog… you guessed it – is a full-time job. I’m juggling so many balls right now I’m dropping those that mean the most to me. Have you been there before?
So it is with a heavy, heavy heart that I announce I’ll be stepping away from The Creative Mama. This decision did not come lightly, in fact if you’ve seen me these last few weeks you’ll know what a difficult choice this has been. I feel physically ill writing this out, through tear filled eyes – however, I trust in the One who gave me these gifts. I know that in the end, of the end, of the end – I absolutely must put my children and family first. I don’t want to look back 15+ years down the road and wish I’d played Star Wars with the boys, instead of the many hours I spent on the computer. I don’t want to regret the late nights of blogging, when I could have snuggled with my husband to watch a movie.
For those of you that blog on a regular basis – you know the upkeep and the time it takes. I’m mixing that with a busy family, a business that requires many hours of computer work, and a handful of other commitments that I am so passionate about.
A very wise and beloved friend said to me recently, “It is a funny thing how the very things we do trying to make a better home can sometimes destroy them. Balance is hard to acquire. Just remember….if you lose your husband/family it won’t matter…so value and invest in what you want for the long term.”
So as much as I adore the community that has been built here, as hard as I’ve worked on carving a creative little corner of the internet, as much as my heart is breaking – my time here is done. I hope you all understand, and I hope you are encouraged to possibly take a look at your own commitments. Are you juggling too many balls? Give yourself permission to drop one, or a few.
Your heart, family, and future will thank you.
Please don’t lose touch! So many of you have been a blessing and encouragement to me. Writing is in my blood, and you can be sure I’ll continue to share my heart+ photos over on my other blog, so if you’d like to keep up you may follow me on over there.
A big, giant hug to each of you, my wonderful readers. I adore you and am so grateful for your support.
