Motherhood is a tough job. Of course the big picture perks far outweigh the hardships (or so I keep telling myself) but on a day to day basis, I know I often feel underappreciated. My guess is that you’re all nodding. Beyond that, us moms do what we do without a clear map. We use our parenting compass and try so hard to keep to a true North but I’ve never been all that good with a compass so it’s more about feeling my way. And that can be terrifying. Still nodding, aren’t you?
I realize that seeing the hard work of Motherhood payoff might not happen for quite some time. At least not in one fell swoop. I’ve finally realized that waiting for that illusive big moment to come is a ridiculous notion (not to mention totally self-defeating and not very motivating) and so I have begun to appreciate the small (sometimes bordering miniscule) gestures of deep appreciation from my daughters as the signs that I’m doing at least something right by them.
My oldest daughter had a party to attend over the weekend. The closest thing to the prom (for 12 year olds) that I can think of. We prepped for weeks for this thing. And I—barring a few mama-meltdowns—was a total gamer. New dress (after 6 stores, 6 dresses, 3 returns later), new underwear (anyone with a tween daughter knows I deserve a gold medal for this), new shoes (enough said), accessories, and a totally cool gift for the birthday boy of honor (we even wrapped it creatively). Everything was taken care of with plenty of time to spare (and fairly little stress) which gave me at least a little satisfaction. But it wasn’t until I was able to pull off the perfect up-do on the day of the party that my successes really were celebrated. About 10 minutes and 15 bobby pins into it, my daughter exclaimed, Oh, that’s perfect! I love it! Coming from a tween, that is everything. And I let that settle in right to the core of my mama soul and it felt amazing.
You never can tell when they’re going to come; those waves of feeling like you’ve really done something right. Whether it be your child making good choices, eating good food, choosing good friends, getting good grades or even something as seemingly unimportant as your own ability to pull off a good hairstyle, these are the moments to hold onto; when we can let that appreciation seep in as we acknowledge our efforts as moms and give ourselves the kudos we deserve. What we do matters, we know it’s true. But there’s nothing like a little reminder now and again. That’s why when we get the occasional, nobody can make pancakes like you or thanks for bringing my sweatshirt or you can twist an awesome bun we need to embrace it, if nothing else to keep us on track—feeling our way, compass close—as we continue to travel our own uncharted path of Motherhood.
